There is nothing as exciting as when your friend or family member has a baby. Babies just bring endless hours of joy and happiness to the whole family. But if you’re lucky enough to be invited into that newborn bubble, it’s important to remember this visit is about way more than a baby cuddle.
As a midwife and a mum of four, I’ve been on both sides of the newborn visit. So let me walk you through a few gentle reminders to make sure your visit is beautiful, supportive, and not overwhelming for that fresh little family.
1. Start with Mum. Always.
Before you dive into baby mode, take a minute to look that woman in the eye and say,
“You are incredible. Look what you’ve just done.”
Birth—no matter how it unfolded—is no small feat. She’s just grown, birthed, and now nourishing a whole human being. She deserves to be seen, celebrated, and held, just as much as that new bub.
Sit down and ask her how she is? Ask her if she wants to talk about anything and just listen. We don’t want to give unsolicited advice but we just want to be there for her. It’s important to be there for her in whatever way she needs.
2. Bring Gifts for Mum, Not Just Baby
Yes, teeny outfits and soft blankets are adorable. But do you know what she really wants?
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A hot, nourishing meal she doesn’t have to cook
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Bare Mum Postpartum Briefs, Warm & Cool Inserts, and Herbal Infused Postpartum Pads.
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A herbal tea blend for postpartum recovery
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Maybe a voucher for a house clean or a meal delivery service
These are the things that say: “I see you. I’ve got you.”
3. If There are siblings, make them feel special!
The older siblings? They’ve just had their whole world flipped.
Take a moment to crouch down and ask about their day, their toys, their latest masterpiece.
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Avoid “Aren’t you lucky to have a baby brother/sister?” on repeat. Instead, just make them feel seen and important without turning the spotlight away from them too soon.
I think it’s always helpful if you bring them a tiny gift of their own—nothing fancy, just something that says, “Hey, I remembered you too.” This could be a small toy car or even a chocolate.
4. Be mindful when holding the baby.
Remember that it shouldn’t be an expectation that you get to hold the baby, don’t ask and only hold bub if the parents offer you. Newborns are precious, vulnerable, and adjusting to life earth-side. Before you do get a cuddle:
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Wash your hands
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Skip the perfume
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Absolutely no smoke residue
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And please—don’t kiss the baby. Ever. Unless you’re the parent, it’s a no.
Always remember, you’re there to support the whole family.
5. Want to Be Helpful? Actually Be Helpful.
This is the time to stop asking “What can I do?” and start doing. Often if you ask ‘what can I do?’ the answer will be nothing. So instead, here’s a list of things you can just do:
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Fold the washing
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Load the dishwasher
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Bring snacks and put them within arm’s reach of the feeding chair
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Offer to take older kids outside for 30 mins
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Make a cup of tea and hand it to her hot
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Ask if she’s eaten, then quietly deliver a snack
This phase is tender and raw and full of adjustment. The best kind of visitor is one that brings calm, not chaos.
Visiting a new baby is a privilege. If you're welcomed into that postpartum bubble, come with love, softness, and the kind of energy that makes things lighter, not louder.
Because the greatest gift you can give that new family isn’t a baby toy or a swaddle—it’s feeling seen, supported, and not alone in this messy beginning.
Written by Lauren Brenton, Endorsed Midwife & Mum of four
Founder One Mama Midwife